Kicking

So, the baby is kicking…all the time. I guess I should clarify that when I say kicking, I really mean more of a fluttering or bubbly feeling. But, it’s very cool and it makes everything feel more real.

I feel like I constantly write about how its just “now” that I’m attached or happy to be pregnant. I really have been excited and happy since I saw the double lines show up, but for me its been such a process of acceptance and belief that it’s real. I AM GOING TO BE A MOTHER, HOW CRAZY IS THAT! And, at the same time it feels like the most natural thing in the entire world.

Now that I have undeniable proof in the form of ultrasounds, an ever growing belly and now the flutters, my sense of connection and attachment to this little life has increased ten fold. I find myself being way more careful and worried now than I have been thus far. Today, I drank about half a can of diet coke and afterwards the baby was going crazy kicking and I felt so guilty for hyping her up on caffeine.

I truly can’t imagine not being pregnant or not looking forward to October. This child has become so ingrained into my life, my emotions and even my sense of self already. The weird thing is I think as much as my husband is looking forward to the baby, he is a month or two behind me in mentally and emotionally preparing for the birth of our baby. Its not that he isn’t supportive or encouraging, I think its just he has a hard time identifying because its not actually happening to him.

I am so excited for next Tuesday when we get the final confirmation on our little girl. It will also be really great to have the measurements and hopefully the confirmation that all is well with her.

This blog isn’t meant to be all baby all the time. Tomorrow I’ll post my recipe for amazing banana bread…with pictures!

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