Dreaming

I don’t necessarily feel all that stressed as I go about my day, but I know it’s there, bubbling just under the surface. How? My dreams have come alive.

I’ve been this way since I was a little girl, my subconscious playing out my unspoken worries and fears, and I wake in the middle of the night sweating and shaking, woozy from the images dancing in my brain.

Last night the dream was about a sick baby, who became a still sick but grown woman, that didn’t speak but was trying to communicate. The dream was haunting and chilling and while I didn’t explain it very well here, I keep replaying the vision over and over in my head. 

Sometimes I write blog posts in the middle of the night, as I lay in bed, waiting for my pulse to slow, to breathe again… they are words not meant for public viewing, but words that are there none the less, waiting to be heard.

Words about family and marriage, children and growing up. Decisions that need to be made; whether we want to or not. I am the mother. I am the wife, sister, friend, employee and perfect stranger. Don’t we all face this? Those moments when the weight of decision and responsibility hang heavy in the air? I am there.

But thankfully, for me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. A quiet moment, a tender word whispered to my soul…

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

                                                                                      Jeremiah 29:11-13

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