Today was one of those days. The kind that grandmas in the check out line promise I will miss, but let me tell you, I’m not convinced.
It started with a choking induced barf before I’d even had time to gulp down a cup of coffee and proceeded to include epic tantrums, blatant disobedience, a head bump, a lost shoe and plenty of mess.
Send wine. And chocolate. And a dose of sanity.
Developmentally I recognize a lot of this is the age. Jack is learning boundaries, which means he has to push them to see where the line in the sand is drawn. I get that. I also recognize that he is learning he can have an opinion and make choices and that has to be taken into account when dealing with him. But it doesn’t make me feel any better.
What I feel sort of at a loss for is how to deal with the behavior. I can do time-outs. I can re-direct. I can ignore. But, in the moment…which is the right option? I told Aaron tonight I feel like I could literally spend my entire day disciplining. And on one hand, if that’s what it takes, no problem. But….and this is a big BUT…I don’t want the only attention Jack receives from me to be negative. I don’t want him to start associating negative attention with himself.
And right here is the crux of motherhood. Digging deep to do the hard things, to pour ourselves out, to give of ourselves in every fiber of our being to raise these little people. To love them. To challenge them. To teach them.
And today it was really hard to do. I wanted to yell. I wanted to give up. I wanted to wave the white flag of surrender. But tomorrow will be a new day. I will pray for patience. I will ask for advice. And I will try again.
Because he’s worth it. Because our family is worth it.