Contemplative…or maybe just hormonal???

I’m feeling like I have a lot to say, but of course when I sit down to write out all the jumbled up thoughts rattling around in my brain, nothing comes to me.

How about a few bullet points? (Really for my own memory)

  • I am 37 weeks pregnant. This little one is a mover and shaker, constantly jabbing and poking me with what I’m assuming are sharp elbows and feet…at least that’s what it feels like. Lots of heartburn, very little sleep due to some lingering insomnia (and heartburn) but oddly enough, overall feeling pretty good. I’m trying so hard not to get my hopes up about going into labor early, but the more I tell myself she isn’t coming for a few more weeks, the more every twinge of discomfort and braxton hicks contraction sends me into a hopeful frenzy that ‘this might be it.’

  • Yesterday marked seven years of marriage. Wow. We complain and tease and occasionally drive each other absolutely nuts, but I think we could both agree we’re crazy about each other. We bring out the best in each other. He moves furniture and cleans out the dog’s ears and  the nasty food in the refrigerator for me. I make him peanut butter pie and rub his head and try to keep dark beer in the house for him. We are a good team (99 percent of the time) and more than anything I’m so so so grateful to be raising children alongside this man, my husband, my very best friend.

  • Jack has suddenly become a full-blown kid leaving the toddlerhood in the dust. I hadn’t even noticed until I uploaded pictures from Aaron’s phone. Aaron still has pictures from when Luke was born and to see Luke as an infant and Jack as a not-even-2-year-old kind of shocks me. Is it sad that I hardly remember those days? And then to compare the pictures with ones from this summer, where Jack is riding a two-wheel bike and Luke is pushing a lawnmower and they both have these ridiculously grown-up looks about them and I can’t help but wonder what happened to the last two years? How is it possible we are going to have another baby in just a few weeks?

I’m feeling extra nostalgic of the boys these days. I wish I could remember every funny, silly, sweet thing they do. I want to remember what good buddies they are (most of the time) and the way Lukey says ‘Alllll Riight,’ in the funniest drawn out way. I want to remember Jack snuggled into my shoulder while I read ‘Interrupting Chicken,’ and how he casually mentions he’s going to go ‘ride his bike for just a couple of minutes mom.’

We had a picnic in the backyard for lunch today, using Jack’s new lunchbox. The boys munched on apples and peanut butter sandwiches chattering about what coyotes eat and if all baseballs are ‘hard’ balls and I had one of those out-of-body experiences where I felt like I was looking in on someone elses life and I just couldn’t get over how blessed and lucky and wonderful this little life is. (And let’s keep it real, 2 minutes later, they were fighting over something and the dog ate Luke’s sandwich), but really truly…whether it’s nostalgia or hormones or just good ol’ perspective, I’m feeling very grateful these days.

 

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