Life With Littles

I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time jumping back into this space. I want to write about the kids and mothering and all the wonderful little things going on…but something holds me back, it feels suddenly sort of vulnerable, when it’s never felt that way before. I don’t know.

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I’m reading a book on nurturing boys and another on breaking the bonds of entitlement. That should give a window into what goes on behind closed doors. I’m craving wisdom and knowledge and as many resources as I can get my hands on these days.

Today the boys played outside, rode bikes in the driveway and we made a trip to the park. We did a few counting worksheets, we watched a little Curious George, we weeded the garden and they made a huge mud puddle while I chose to look the other way.

But they also unloaded the silverware from the dishwasher and got their own shoes and cups of water. They picked up sticks for me in the backyard, fed the dog and I even had Jack help me pick up dog poop. I am refreshed and thankful for their help as the evening winds down instead of exhausted and a little frustrated. They were so proud of themselves and I was legitimately grateful.

I think the books are helping.

Scarlet is in my most favorite baby stage ever. Happy, interactive, yet mostly immobile. She is moments away from officially crawling. She can sit up from a laying down position and has started to try to pull up on things. She is endearingly sweet and even a little silly. She LOVES attention and will screech and squawk at you from across the room until you acknowledge her. She has a beaming gummy smile for just about everyone.

She turns into a screaming tearful mess when she gets overtired. We are learning this the hard way, pushing her happy self to the brink of exhaustion. We pay for it ten fold at 3am, so we are trying to be more aware of her need for sleep. Ironic that I never would have let Jack or even Luke skip a nap or stay up past bedtime. Poor third child.

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I’m not working much these days. A little freelance project here and there, an article in our local magazine and that’s about it. It’s weird how this was always what I was striving for and yet as I step farther and farther away from ‘working’, I realize just how how much my identity is attached to working. Which is laughable because my ‘career’ isn’t much to write home about to begin with.

Anyway, all this to say, there’s been a lot to think about. Shifting my perspective and opening my mind and heart in so many new ways. How to raise boys…shoot how to just understand boys a little better. How to mother to the very best of my ability. How to let go. How to embrace and celebrate each new season of life.

We had some family photos taken a couple of weeks ago in honor of Aaron’s grandmother’s 75th birthday. They make me laugh and smile for a 100 reasons, but mostly because I love that we finally have a (decent, non-hospital room) picture of the five of us. Our completed family. It makes me happy every time I look at it.

Pasta with Brussel Sprouts and Bacon

Hands-down my favorite meal right now. I crave it. I make it. We devour it. Lather, rinse, repeat. Can Not Get Enough.

Here is my version of THIS recipe:

I altered the ingredients slightly to make it quick and easy. I don’t always have pancetta or a jalapeno on hand…but I almost always have bacon and red pepper flakes.

Sea salt

8 ounces penne

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, more for drizzling

3 or 4 slices of center cut bacon

1 large rosemary sprig

1 heaping teaspoon of chopped garlic

Generous sprinkling of red pepper flakes

Freshly ground black pepper

8 ounces brussels sprouts, thinly sliced

2 teaspoons butter

Fresh squeeze of lemon

Parmesan cheese

PREPARATION

1. Bring large pot heavily salted water to a boil. Add the penne and cook until pasta is just al dente. Do not overcook…repeat, DO NOT OVERCOOK.

2. Meanwhile, heat large sauté pan over high heat and add the olive oil. When oil is hot, add the bacon and rosemary, and sauté until the fat on the bacon starts to turn translucent and very lightly brown, about 3 minutes. Add the garlic, red pepper flakes and freshly ground black pepper to taste, and sauté until garlic and bacon turn richly brown, about 3 minutes. Add the brussels sprouts, a large pinch of salt and a splash of water to pan, and sauté until sprouts just start to soften, about 2 minutes. Spread sprouts mixture in pan and press down to flatten. Let it sear for a minute, then stir it up and repeat. This helps brown the sprouts. Add the butter and squeeze half a lemon over the dish, sauté for another minute.

3. Drain penne and add it to pan with brussels sprouts mixture. Cook, tossing, until everything is well mixed. Spoon into pasta bowls and top with parmesan cheese.

One quick note:

Read the recipe! I stumbled on the recipe from Domestic Reflections and in the half-dozen times I’ve made this recipe the last couple months, I never caught that the brussel sprouts should be slices thinly! Duh! They can’t cook in three minutes, if they are only halved. I sliced them much thinner last night and they were delicious.

Enjoy!

Is This Thing On?

tap tap…cough…ummm…hi??

That perfect storm of lack-of-sleep + busyness + three small children + freelance work (i.e. getting paid to write things) = no blog (oh and no dinner, or laundry or general hygiene, but that’s sort of a given right?).

And then that stupid thing happens where once you go a little while without stopping for a few minutes to document the everyday, the little joys, the hard stuff, a good meal…it all blends together and nothing stands out.

That’s the thing I love about this little space, it makes me take note, it helps me remember.

Anne Lamott wrote a beautiful essay last week where she quoted a line by Barry Lopez: everyone is held together by stories. That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion.

I loved that statement. I think that’s why blogs and facebook and instagram are so popular (addictive?). Little stories that bring us together, shining a little light into each others life.

So with that little burst of inspiration, I’m back. Rusty for sure. But back.

A story from today not to be forgotten:

Jack and Scarlet sit on the carpet in the tv room. The windows and sliding door are open, sunshine is pouring in. Jack grabs a book (about drag racing of course) he got from the library yesterday, scoots to sit directly in front of Scarlet and begins ‘reading’ to her. He carefully turns each page, pointing out objects and telling her all about the cars. He goes through a stack of books as she watches completely enthralled with her brother.

Just a Regular Tuesday Night

You know the kind…where the baby has a blow out during dinner requiring an emergency bath after finding poop up to her ears. The big boys decide they want a bath, except one of them wants to wear their swimsuit.

And even though I wanted to say no, I said yes.

So everyone is happy for a few minutes, except you know, they are splashing EVERYWHERE and carrying on like soaked Ferrel cats. But, whatever, they’re happy, even though we feel like this:

But, (of course there’s a but), you catch sight of this happy little thing:

And all is right with the world again. Splashing be damned; that little smile, those eyelashes, the cheeks I could eat all day every day. Sigh…

Such sweethearts, all three of them. Little turkeys.

Homemade Donut…sort of?

Perusing through the latest Sunset Magazine, I zoned in on this recipe (almond and jam pastry).

For two weeks I kept thinking about that recipe, dog-earing the page and reminding myself to buy almonds in the bulk section at the grocery store.

On Saturday, Aaron and Jack went skiing, leaving me with two mildly sick little ones who both blessedly took monster naps. This left me twiddling my thumbs and thinking once again about that recipe.

I broke out the bread machine and decided to attempt a loaf of brioche. The stars must have aligned, because the bread baked up beautifully.

On Sunday morning, I got up with the kids and after making an extra big pot of coffee, whipped up the rest of the dish.

They were so stinking good. The almond flavor and raspberry jam are perfect together. The bread was soft in the middle and toasted on the outside. Sweet and creamy and satisfying without being overly-sweet.

The great thing is there’s plenty of almond paste (cream?) left over. So you can make it again the next day (like me), and the next day after that.

You certainly don’t need to make the brioche yourself and frankly I think a loaf of french bread would work just as well. I’m thinking about slathering that stuff on my boring old wheat toast tomorrow morning.

Easy Blueberry Sauce

Please excuse the bad iPhone photo of my breakfast.

I made a Trader Joe’s vanilla cake mix for dessert on Sunday. I didn’t have all the ingredients to make a frosting and for whatever reason, I wasn’t really in the mood for chocolate (shocking I know).

I decided to make a blueberry sauce to go over the cake. It was an experiment because I was too lazy to try to find a recipe, but it worked out wonderfully.  I made way too much so we’ve been eating it all week with yogurt and granola, over frozen waffles and a spoonful at a time snuck from the fridge.

Blueberry Sauce

(this is a rough calculation because I didn’t measure a thing when I put it together)

• 5 to 6 cups frozen blueberries
• 3/4 cup to 1 cup sugar (just keep tasting your mixture to get to the level of sweetness you like)
• juice of half a lemon
• dash of salt
• 1 tablespoon corn starch

In a saucepan, mix all of the ingredients together over medium heat for about 30 minutes. The sauce should simmer at a slow boil, so depending on your stove, you might need to adjust the heat. When the sauce has thickened up and it tastes good…it’s done! Let cool and store in the refrigerator.

I think this recipe could be easily adjusted with other berries and I might try agave syrup next time for a slightly healthier version.

Time Management (or lack of)

Unstructured days are kind of my nightmare. Leave me with hours and hours of free time and I can guarantee you I will spend it twirling my hair, eating snacks and thinking all about what I’m going to get done (without ever actually accomplishing anything). Give me 20 minutes and you would be SHOCKED at what I can get done.

Am I the only pathetic person like this? (actually I know I’m not…I come by it genetically).

Combining my stellar ability to procrastinate and long days with small children and it can be tough for everyone. Winter and being cooped up left me feeling a little like a hamster on a wheel (some days I still do) and I know the boys were/are bored and agitated.

But here’s the even dirtier truth. I suck at playing. I do. I cannot get lost in an afternoon of super heroes and legos and matchbox cars. My brain just can’t get there.

Add to this a desire to do a few ‘learning projects’ on off-school days led me to create a routine for our days. It’s flexible, but on my chalkboard in my kitchen I have goals I want to accomplish with the boys every day.

excuse the terrible handwriting…I also come by that genetically

Ok. So this routine really helps me give the boys my undivided attention. It also helps us to work on numbers and letters, play games together (Uno, Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, Memory, the occasional iPad game), do play dough or a craft and get the heck outside.

I am not perfect at this every day. But to have my chicken scratch writing in LARGE print staring at me all day holds me accountable.

I added baking because its something that happens around here a lot, but I’m not very good at letting the boys help me with. (The mess!) I also added chores because we are working on personal responsibility.

I wish I could write about how easy and happy and wonderful it all is. Truthfully, it’s a work in progress. Mostly for me…to be patient, kind, generous with my time, energy and encouragement.

We really do have a lot of fun together, but it’s always so hard to paint an authentic picture of our days. I want to remember what these days of raising little people was REALLY like. It’s this complex jumbled up mixture of happiness and tension, bliss and frustration….getting lost in a moment and counting down the seconds until nap time. It’s so very good and downright hard all in the same breath.

But a routine…oh a routine, it’s exactly what this procrastinating sleep-deprived mama needs (and so do her kids).